Welcome back to “Dear Kringle,” where peppermint predicaments and marshmallow meltdowns are met with compassion, cocoa, and the occasional sparkle-fueled giggle. Each week, Kringle — our soft-hearted, sharp-witted advice elf — offers perspective on life’s most confounding candy cane conundrums.
Want to send in your own letter? Write to “Dear Kringle” by dropping your scroll in the red box by the Reindeer Stables, or email us at: kringle@tinselpost.com (yes, elves have email now — it’s 2025 after all).
Dear Kringle,
I’ve been in the wrapping department for over 200 years and I still can’t fold corners without taping myself to the paper. I feel like a fraud!
— Flustered in Frost Hall
Dear Flustered,
Darling, even Santa uses pre-cut stickies some nights. You are not a fraud — you’re festive, flawed, and fabulous. Try “The Swaddle Method” (patent pending): wrap with purpose, tape with flair, and if all else fails, distract with a stunning bow.
— Kringle
Dear Kringle,
My sleigh bells jingle unevenly. I know it sounds silly, but it’s throwing off my rhythm and confidence on patrols.
— Out-of-Sync in Snowdrift Sector
Dear Out-of-Sync,
Not silly at all — nothing messes with morale like misaligned jingle. Stop by Bells & Co. for a quick tune-up and alignment. In the meantime, walk with a bounce and call it a “syncopated sleigh strut.” Make it fashion.
— Kringle
Dear Kringle,
There’s a rumor going around that my hot cocoa ratio is “too rich.” But I like it that way! Am I overindulging?
— Decadent Dasher
Dear Decadent,
Absolutely not. Your cocoa, your rules. Some elves sip; others slurp; you, my dear, luxuriate. Unless your mug is turning into a fondue fountain, keep living your truth. Just maybe keep a peppermint water nearby for balance.
— Kringle
Dear Kringle,
My snowglobe rotation schedule has been changed and now I’m working graveyard shifts. I can’t sleep during the day and I keep missing choir practice! Help!
— Swirly-Eyed in Sector 7
Dear Swirly-Eyed,
Oh, the dreaded globe-lag. Invest in blackout curtains (frosted with flair), drink sleepytime cocoa, and get a sunglow lamp for your off-hours. Talk to your manager — maybe a shift trade can be arranged after Frost Fair. No elf should live in permanent shimmer fog.
— Kringle
Dear Kringle,
I found an extra wish list scroll in my satchel… and it’s unsigned. I want to deliver magic, but I don’t know who it belongs to!
— Mystified Mail Elf
Dear Mystified,
A mystery! How festive! Place the scroll in the Wishing Wind slot at the village center — the enchantment will guide it home. Meanwhile, consider it an opportunity to reflect on the joy of anonymous kindness. If nothing else, wrap up the items and let Santa work his sleigh magic.
— Kringle
