Dear Tinsel Post Readers,
This morning, I woke up to find someone had swapped the newsroom’s official Countdown Clock from its usual festive ding to a screaming “WE’RE HALFWAY THERE” banner—complete with sparkly confetti cannons and a choir of animatronic penguins singing “Livin’ on a Sleigh-er.”
It’s true. Today marks the exact halfway point to Christmas.
Some call it June 25th’s quieter cousin. Around here, we call it Red Alert Day.
Half the glitter inventory is mysteriously missing. The Sleighworks team is in what they’re calling “casual chaos mode.” The Giftwrap Guild is demanding hazard pay after an intern hot-glued their mittens to the tinsel rollers. And in possibly the most alarming development, Santa has begun his midyear reflection retreat, meaning we have exactly three days of unsupervised innovation. Last time this happened, someone replaced Dasher’s flight goggles with VR ski simulators. He’s still recovering.
The good news? Spirits are high, cocoa is flowing, and morale is at a strong “teetering but twinkly.” We’ve got Halfway to Christmas cupcakes in the breakroom (don’t eat the ones with the glowing centers—those are for Science). Carolers-in-training are testing mashups like “Frosty the Firecracker.” The Candy Cane Choir is harmonizing in thirds while juggling tiny snowballs. And Blitzen is insisting on a full lighting rehearsal “just in case December gets here early.”
So yes, we’re halfway to the big day. But don’t panic. Do what we do: laugh, plan, glitter responsibly, and maybe double-check your list—because the second half is where the real magic begins.
Yours in pre-season pep,
Jingle P. Peppermint
Editor-in-Chief
The Tinsel Post
P.S. If anyone finds my commemorative “Halfway to Ho-Ho” mug (last seen being used as a plant pot for the breakroom poinsettia), please return it before I start drinking cocoa out of my boot again.
